Your relationship with a special guy has come and gone, but now you want him back. It’s not unheard of for a couple to get back together after they’ve taken time away from each other, so don’t give up hope. Just be sure to put plenty of thought into the reasons you broke up before attempting to get back together, as this can help you make the relationship work the second time around.
See When Should You Try This? to learn more about when getting your ex back might be a good course of action.
1- Reflect on why the breakup happened. The first thing you need to do is take a long, hard look at what factors led up to the breakup. Consider whether these same difficulties are likely to cause more relationship problems if you try to get back together, or if you might be able to get past them.
It’s important to think about what you might have done to cause the breakup. Blaming your ex for everything is not a great way to get him back!
2- Think about why you want him back. Breakups are never easy, even when the relationship was not a good fit. For this reason, it’s crucial to think about your motives for wanting to get your boyfriend back. If you want to get back together because you are sad or lonely or don’t like being single, you should probably reconsider. Just because you miss your ex does not mean you should be with him. These feelings will go away eventually, although it may take some time. If you want to get back together because you genuinely care for your ex and you can see yourself having a future with him, then go ahead and try to get him back!
If your boyfriend was physically, emotionally, or verbally abusive in any way, you should not try to get back together with him. It’s perfectly normal for you to miss him even if it was an unhealthy relationship, but it’s important to remind yourself that you can do better.
3- Take some time. Because the end of a relationship is often tumultuous, it’s best to give both yourself and your ex some time away from each other before you try to patch things up. You both need to be able to get over the initial pain of the breakup and think about what you really want.
This doesn’t mean you need to completely shun him if you go to school together or have mutual friends, but avoid calling him or hanging out with him for a little while so that you both have the chance to heal and gather your thoughts.
If your ex contacts you a lot, let him know that you’re going to give him some time so he doesn’t think you don’t want anything to do with him. This is especially important if the guy you love is a bit shy or insecure.
He may need some time to realize how much he misses you too!
4- Accept that it might not work out. When attempting to get an ex-boyfriend back, you need to realize that it may work out, but it may not. Even if you successfully get your ex back, there’s no telling that your relationship will end up lasting. Prepare yourself for this beforehand to avoid being blindsided by heartbreak a second time.
Build your self-esteem. Take this opportunity to really invest in yourself and work on loving yourself. The better your self-esteem, the better prepared you will be to have a healthy, long-lasting relationship.
If you suffer from depression or anxiety, see a mental health professional for help. You may be surprised what an impact treatment will have on your self-esteem.
Remind yourself of your strengths and talents every day. Celebrate every accomplishment you make, no matter how small.
If you have a hard time recognizing your own strengths, talk to your friends and loved ones. Ask them to share with you what they think your most positive traits are.
Try to be thankful for all that you have.
Meditation can help you reduce stress and live more soundly in the moment.